Architectural Designs - Caught hubby cheating on tape ?

Caught hubby cheating on tape ?

Okay my hubby and i have been married 2 yrs and have a 1.5 yr old daughter.My husband and i have defentiantly have had our problems.I even considered divorce 3 times already(no he did not know) but recently i changed my mind just before handing him the divorce papers because he did something nice for me like he used to while we were dating.So i thought maybe we could solve our problems and stop the never ending fight. I was trying to find a show that i had taped a while back on design that i thought would help me on some ideas with a client(i do interior design).What i found was a tape of my husband cheating on me in our living room it was recent because the leather chair in the backround i bought for him recently as a gift.I feel so hurt and heart broken but cant bring myself to confront my hubby? It makes me sick to see him acting completley normal why cant i just confront him? I dont understand how he could do this to me no matter how bad things got i never cheated on him?

Public Comments

Wow. I'm so sorry! But you don't need to confront him. Really, what's he going to say. You have it on tape! Just take the tape and go straight back to your divorce lawyer. Hand him the papers, and leave. No need for words at all if you don't want them.
just place the tape in front of him and walk away........
Was he cheating with a woman or a man? I might need to see a copy of the tape for a full analysis. He cheated on you. If you have self esteem, you'll stand up for yourself.
gosh just do it and i would get a divorce......cant stand a cheat.
Because you are too shocked what you need to do is make a copy of the tape and make sure it is playing when he walks into the house make sure your baby is not in the same room and then confrnt him and tell him your marriage is over and keep a copy of the tape to use against him in court.
well, confront him and ditch him. I think he's really a snake. It's bad that he cheats, but he did it in your house and taped it??
Suggest watching a movie tonight, put the tape on and then wait for him to explain himself. It's amazing the ease with which people can lie isn't it.
You can't confront him? How can you not? Prepare a nice dinner, (him not you because you will not be able to eat), treat him to a movie, THE tape. Take it from there. ETA: make copy of said tape first!!!
Go visit a friend or family member with your child, and leave the tape ready for viewing and when he comes home, leave a sign on the tv, saying to view the tape, and wait..???? Either way, good luck and I wish you the best..??? Of course make a copy, "just in case"..??
if you are sure that is what you saw, take your daughter, and have your lawyer give him the papers. you don't need to be around that. not healthy for you or your little girl. also, have you had sex with him recently? if he is cheating on you, and you have you may want to get an STD test. hope everything works out. be strong!
do it. get a divorce. that is not fair at all to you. get a divorce and take your daughter with you. kick him out if you can but tell him you want a divorce because you found a tape of him cheating on you. that is wrong. obviously he doen't care about anything anymore. so you should tottaly leave him. there is someone better for you out there. it may take some time to find a better person but you will find that person. just tell him what you found, and i think that you should get a divorce.
YOU MUST BE FURIOUS! GIVE HIM HIS WALKING PAPERS HONEY. TELL HIM YOU FOUND THE TAPE. KEEP IT IN A SAFE PLACE. DON'T LOSE IT.
SO what is your question. Pull those divorce papers back out because you probably won't be able to be civil much longer. It is important for you to tell him what you saw and that what you feel. If you think things will get better your probably wrong. He probably feels your relationship is just about over. Don't disregard the nice things he has done, but create a list of the good and the bad and see which one weighs more. It's really important for you to decide if you can deal with this any longer and then take appropriate measures. This relationship seems to be already over and the best thing you can do is to take the video tape, make a copy and put them on every t.v. in the house. Play them all when he comes home and have his or your bags by the door. It's a matter of your own sanity. Now its time to focus on you and your child. Good luck.
you need to let this guy go--he is a cheat and will probably always be a cheat, you do not want to live your life with him worrying every time that you leave the house another woman is coming in. He is so busted so----- 1. Kick his cheatin ass out 2. take the tape to a lawyer 3. start divorce procedings 4. maintaince and child support, the house the car everything you have together , is yours, he cheated, do not be civil, get what you deserve for having children with him and get on with your life with someone that is a decent human being.
First of all. Leave him. You have given chances beyond chances. I imagine hundreds. The hurting needs to stop. Either he stops or you leave. Things like these can make your heart cold and stone hard. Do not suffer it any longer. I have learned one thing. Do not stay together so you wont be alone, Do not stay together because of the child. It is not right to you and it would not be to him if it were on the both of you. Make your decision and stand firm with it. Do not be afraid. If you have to have a cop with you to kick him out. If you are not giving him that chance. Give him that choice. Stop cheating or leave. I gave you to many chances. that is what you should say. Do not let men destroy your heterosexual ways. Do not. Men are not worth it.
"(no he did not know)" "cant bring myself to confront my hubby" Sounds like your real issue is communication. I find it strange that you are willing to share intimate details to strangers, but you won't share them with your husband... why is that? Do you not like confrontation? (that's understandable) Obviously, this is just an opinion, feel free to trow it out the window. First thing you need to do is sit down and write out exactly what you want to say to him. Make it as angry as you like... really let it all out on paper. Say every mean nasty thing on that piece of paper. so, now you know how you feel. Next, sit him down and CALMLY explain what you found. Your goal here is figure out where he's coming from and what he's feeling. Ask him if he loves her, was it a one time thing. Ask him how he feels about your relationship, if he wants to work it out, etc etc etc. If he thinks it's best you divorce, then you don't really have any options. That's what's best for you. If he wants to work on it. Tell him NICELY AND CALMLY how you've felt (it may be helpful to rewrite what's on that piece of paper and omit the nasty stuff). Sit and talk and LISTEN to each other. Hug, Kiss, Have Sex and then in the morning, seek a marriage counselor. Marriage counseling will help you both over come your communication issues. Make sure to issue one ultimatum, though. If he cheats again, you're out! Good luck to both of you.
Why can't you confront him? It would seem to me to be pretty easy when you couldn't possibly have better evidence. If it were me and i found that tape, i'd have somebody watch my kid, make dinner then sit down with him like were gonna watch a favorite movie and then pop the tape in and enjoy watching him turn white or green or whatever! Unless, of course, if he wanted you to find the tape in the first place. Which is totally possible if it wasn't hidden very well. Think about it, if he was gonna tape himself cheating why would he leave it where it was easy for you to find? Maybe he wants out of the marriage too and was hoping this would force you to divorce him. Whatever happens, good luck
that is so triflin :: u kno wat i would go out and do the same thing 2 him :: but that would only make things worse :: i would jus leave :: no first get the divorce papers ready then once u signed them pack up your stuff and take ur baby and leave :: jus have the papers & tape waitin on him wen he get home :: he'll get the picture!! Move on and get wit somebody that will truely make u and your baby happy :: hes a sucker and isnt worth the time or pain! Good Luck!
well the first thing to do is sneek that tape out of the house and get a copy made then return the first one to its original spot and keep the second one somewhere other then your home. you and him should talk to each other. you write he didnt know you were near to divorce 3 times in the past . that is not good. something as big as that is going on and you two are not talking about it that just wont work. i am sure some will say leave the bum . we dont however know enough about your situation to say that . i suggest that first you talk to him about this . i suggest that you might want to send the child to stay overnight someplace granny's house or someplace. if you both can stay calm not scream and call each other names then your talk might be enough to start the repair work. then if you continue to talk calmly you may find that a pattern developed in your relationship that caused you both to have troubles. this is not at all uncommon. a simple pattern of relating to the other person forms without your full knowledge. sometimes this happens during a fight. other times an illness . really lots of times it can start but it can be changed. should the two of you alone not fix this then see about some conselling if after that you still have no improvment you have this tape stored at another house somewhere and that will be of use to you . who knows maybe just talking about sex will be enough does stuff go on on the tape that is different then what you two do . think about that. explore every possible means of making this work and then you can at least tell your girl one day that you both really did everything you could to make it work . good luck to you and i sure hope you both can get this marriage working better soon
Your husband is a god
I would go back to that divorce lawyer then show him the tape. this is probably not the first time he has cheated. I don't know how the relationship has been but you need to let your daughter know that there healthy relationships and that you do not have to let anyone disrespect you, or that you have to take any what ever is dished out to you. I think you need to concentrate on taking care of her and showing her what a strong women you are with or without a man in your life.
Keep the tape for your divorce proceedings. Dont give it to him. Throw his crap outside and tell him he has a certain amount of time to pick it up or it will be set on fire.......no dont do the fire part but leave it outside for him to pick up... Dont try to rationalize someone cheating on you. He is a loser of a husband and that is it. Pick yourself up, seek your family and friends for support and move on. YOU CAN DO IT>
say hey i need your advice on this idea for a customer ive been thinking about and put in the tape of him chating on you you wont have to say a word! god bless you im so sorry!
just because we were loyal, and never betrayed them, means nothing to some. unfortunately the only way your going to be able to make a decision is to confront him. can't run away from it, no matter what the outcome is. we have to face our fears in life, and get out of denial, u have the proof, only u can decide what it is u want to do. first u need to confront, as u did nothing to deserve this, problems in a marriage does not give the other a real reason to cheat. he did u wrong, u have every right to confront him, and see where his heart is at, if it's with her, u have no marriage anyway. yes u will be brokenhearted, he betrayed u and its really something u were not expecting from a person u loved, and u thought loved u.
throw the tape at him, then throw him out. Period end of discussion.
oh my, I am so sorry to hear that. No matter how hard it is , he can't get away with what he did. There are two ways to break it to him: 1) Approach him and confront him about the tape. or 2) Wait, cook him a nice dinner, make a picnic on the livingroom floor and light some candle then tell him you are going to set the mood right by putting on some new porn or some music, put on the tape and let him feel it, he will be embarrassed and sorry but it will be to late. After that tell him it is over. Good Luck