Architectural Designs

How did you and your husband know it was time to have a baby?

For all you married mothers out there, If you got the luxury of getting to plan your first pregnancy, when did you know it was the right time? Was it when the finances slipped into place, or when you moved into a house, or some kind of external force like that, or was it just a sense that something was missing or feeling your biological clock go off? My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years, and it seems that there is always an excuse not to...... and I keep flip-flopping on what I want, (baby vs. career vs. husband time, etc.) it is driving me crazy! A little insight from some of your own stories would be a big help!! I am 26 and my husband is 28, we both have stable jobs, and live in a small but sturdy home, if this helps at all. Thanks so much in advance.

Public Comments

1. Im not a mom but i am a dad and you need to make sure you have enough time in your life for a baby and that you are going to put the baby first over everything including work etc. Happy holiday!
2. i am 25 yrs old now. I got married in 2006. B4 we even got married we were ready to be parents. I remeber I kept thinking ... ok if it happens to just happen can i still fit in my wedding dress. And then I thought i was b/c my period was late.... but then it eventually came. I was so sad. And so was my soon to be hubby. Thats when we knew 100% we were ready. We got married in June 2006 and I just waited to get health insurance and that Jan we tryed to conceive and BOOM ... it worked! We arent rich by any means. We have a 1 br apt right now and are making it work. I was a dental assist and quit to be a stay at home mom. Hubby only made 40K a yr when i quit in Aug. Now he makes a lil over 60k a yr but either way u make it work.... IF A BABY IS WHAT U WANT. but money would never be an issue... nor timing. have babies young. trust me... even i run out of energy!
3. My husband and I spent time working out our financially, educational etc... goals. We prayed together and seperatly about starting our family. Everything sort of fell into place. The first month without protection we conceived! Good luck. It is a huge and kind of scary decision to make but you wont regret it.
4. My husband and I had been married a year when we started trying for #1. We had a house, were pretty stable financially, and I think my clock was going off. Hubby needed a little more convincing, but in the end he's glad we did it when we did. There is never going to be the "perfect" time. We could all use a little more money, a bigger house, a more established career, a different time of year. In the end you have to decide what really is going to make you happy in life. For us it was having a baby. I quit my job to stay home after our son was born. We don't always have much money, much free time, a big enough house.....but it's worth it to us. If you really want a baby, and are stable enough to support the child that is all that matters. There is not an infinite amount of time available to us. Life is short, and a woman fertility slows dramatically after 30. Having a baby doesn't cement you in a place in life, but focusing on all those other things can eventually close the door on a child.
5. hmm....you have a space for new child? Do you have a stable job ? Do you have monthly income and money ? Do you have time for your new baby ? If the answer is yes you can have a baby. But most importantly do you willing to sacrifise something?? Most people would think that it will ruind their career. You can do a family planning and discuss the plan with your husband. It is sure that many obstacle and problem will rise but to have a child it is sure sacrifise is needed to get a baby and it needs many love to raise a child and a kid...
6. We got married at 24 and ended up having a scare shortly after getting married. I spent the entire month worried then got my period right on time. We decided to ttc the next month. We had spent so much time during the time waiting for my period to show planning how we would handle things if I was pregnant that we realized that we could do it and we did really want it. I was actually a little disappointed when my period showed. We ttc for 8 months with no luck. We decided I would go back on BC while we purchased a house(only one major life change at a time please) and thought we would like to be established in our new home for a year before trying again. Well 5 months after buying our house a friend of mine got pregnant with unplanned baby #3 and I was so upset and jealous. About a month later me and Dh had a talk and decided it was time to try again. I was to the point where I was crying every month when I got my period even though I was on bc. Dh was also telling me about how he really felt that something was missing from our lives. I still have moments where I wonder if I made the right choice but that's normal, change is scary. My mom was 36 when my brother was born(totally planned) and even she will tell you that she had doubts. Even with all of the fears and doubts we are both very happy that our little boy is on the way.
7. My husband and I took one look at each other and wanted to have a baby together, LOL. We started trying when we got engaged and actually got pregnant, but then had a miscarriage 4 months into the pregnancy. We've since gotten married and are now trying again. Please believe this.... it's always going to be something. Unless your last name is Trump, HIlton, or Rockefeller money is always going to be an issue or something else will be. People have kids when they are mentally and emotionally ready... financially ready is a bonus. It sounds like so far, you've had other priorities. You're young and you have time. When you're ready, you'll know and NOTHING will stop you from trying. A piece of advice though... try to have your family complete before you hit 35. Once you enter your 30s, fertility declines and getting pregnant can take longer. So depending on how many you want is when you should start. Honestly, if I could do it all over again, I would have had my kids in my 20s. I went to college, worked on my career first. Didn't meet Mr. Righ until age 40. Good luck.
8. I'm so happy that you asked this question. I'm in the same boat and I'll keep checking back to see if you continue to get wisdom from participants. My husband and I differ in opinion, he would like to continue to wait, (unclear what he's waiting for) meanwhile all of my unmarried friends are having babies left and right. I'm at a point where I could confortably bow out of my career for a few years an have a child or two. We've been married for 2 years he's 30 I'm 26, my friends that waited to have children all tell me to do it while you're young... Good luck and thanks again for posing this important question.
9. My husband and I have been TTC our first child for 28 months now. For me, it was the feeling of something missing. The crazy maternal instincts that I've so desperately wanted to use my entire life. I get a little scared every once in a while, but I've discovered that it's just my insecurities of actually becoming a mother. Having my life fliped upside down. Will I be a good mom? Can I really take care of another life? These are all normal feelings and realizing that a child will completely alter your life is actually a good thing. I hope I helped a little. All I can do is give you my personal story.
10. Our first was not planned but we are trying for the second. If you have a home, job and money there should not be a problem.