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Can someone tell me if I am depressed?

It's been kind of hard for me in the past few years. Let me try and explain it. I hope someone will take the time to read this and help me. If you don't I understand, so don't worry. It probably started sometime when I was in 4th grade. My parents and sister had been fighting a lot. It was becoming a daily thing. When we went to Egypt, for a Christmas vacation, my sister sneaked out of the hotel room with the tour guide to go smoke hookah. I should have told my parents, but I didn't want my sister to get mad at me. So instead, I stayed up until the morning to open the door for her. Not long after wards, she went on her field trip to Long Hai. In Long Hai, she sneaked into one of the boy's bungalows. Inside, it was rumored that she lost her virginity. I never learned the truth. Soon after, she began going to see a phsychiatrist. Not wanting to leave me home alone, my parents took me along. Pretending I was watching T.V upstairs, I always listened to her. I began to get very jealous, I couldn't help it. She had all the attention, I was left in the corner. One time, after a particularly violent fight with my parents, she sat outside on the front steps. I went out to see if she was okay. She told me she was fine, we sat in silence for a little while. She told me she was going away for a little bit and would be back before I knew it. She did, she went from friend to friend for two days before she returned home. When she did, I was overjoyed. Of course I was. This girl was the entire reason I wanted to live. Sure she was completely mean to me, but of course I didn't stop loving her. She was my sister, and she always will be. I heard them make plans for her to fly to America and live with my grandmother in Oregon, where we were both born. I got insanely jealous at this point. I didn't say good bye, I couldn't if I wanted to. She was gone when I woke up. So after that it was slightly uneventful. The odd fight between my parents. During 6th grade, my parents started fighting alot. They even developed a sort of plan. They would yell for about half an hour. When they fought at night, my dad would go into my room and lay on the bed with me, my mom would come in and turn on the lights and start yelling again. Then my dad would sleep on the sofa. In the daytime, either one of them would go away for a bit. Either of them or me. I only left once, to my friend's house, down the street. Also, I am an expat child. I have been in Vietnam for about 6 years now, and I keep no best friends. Because, my best friends always, always move away. It's pointless to keep trying to make new friends. I'm 11 now, and turning 12 in a few days. So, thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it so much. I know I may be blowing this out of proportion but please respond. I need to know. Thank you. If you need anymore details, just ask. I'm sorry to make this question even longer but, I'm known for my ability to keep my feelings to myself. I don't want to go blabbering about myself and losing the few friends I have. The fights my parents have are mostly because my mom is constantly accusing my father of having an affair. My parents are and have never been there for me. In my early childhood they were relevantly there. At soccer practices and things. But they had to stop because both of them have had several surgeries. By dad had one on his spine, because it had been bent. My mom had three because of her arthritis. My mom has a tendency to become angry at me for small things, as does my dad. I hate to be so rude but, I think they are both hypocrites to act this way. Once my dad was yelling at me for slamming the door, on his way out he slammed the door in my face. Thank you again for your answers. By the way, I took the screening test the first answer recommended to me. The result was 'severe depression' Thanks! You don't understand, I can't tell my parents. They would never understand how I feel. I can't do it. I don't have close relatives I live in Vietnam, all of them are in Portland, Oregon. I don't know what to do, I would ask my sister but she doesn't care about me anymore. The only use I am is to give her money and do her chores for her.

Public Comments

1. you can make on this site a test for depression http://www.depression-screening.org/
2. you are such a nice girl... still young and have sweet dreams to achieve... don't let ur family problem disrupt your life.... it's nice to have a lot of friends, make a friend although not as a best friend... It's your life that important!!!!!! If you brave enough explain your feeling to your parent about the fight. Life is a long way to go!!!!!
3. You could be suffering from early depression. Sadness due to the fact that your sister is left, hurt because she's left and you looked up to her.... You could be sad because your parents are always fighting ... Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel? I felt like that when my brother left... my parents had just gotten divorced and my brother moved almost 10 000miles away to live with my dad, was hurt and upset because he left me with my mom... the reason why the family was split
4. i know this is hard for you because my daughter once experienced it when my husband and i were still very much fond of fighting..she never talked to us but eventually we saw her really sad and that made us realized that we have to stop fighting and whatever arguements we had we should not let her hear..we made a pact and now she has more worries..you are a sweet girl but it seems that your parents have not gotten your depress message at all,i suggest you should tell them how you feel..if you can't do it try to let a close relative to tell them in your behalf..goodluck!