Architectural Designs

Early 16 bars...........?

Rate, hate, comment, criticize, etc.......I'm throwing around ideas for something to start my mixtape up with. This is one of the verse I thought might be good for it. I want to go home where the grass is green Where we sit in circles and just pass the weed I hate work, fax machines, I love rapping schemes I know what’ll happen’ll be, with you attacking me Let me give you a little information…don’t ask All my skill’s in chrome flask, I’m clown so laugh A f*ck up on the wrong path, you all know that I’m a kid from a cold past, I hate my dads old ass All my thoughts scribbled in a rhyme booklet Tonight at the Grammies all your lies took it Overpowering all of my mind’s book sense I thought I could carry both our lifes I couldn’t So I’m digging for a rhyme, of a different design Make you listen in rewind, as I’m picking in you mind As zippo’s zip by, how you gonna talk with both lips tied

Public Comments

1. It was good, I liked the rhymes, but you might wanna mature it a little, naw mean? I'm a little tired to really get critical, LOL. However, when I read it out loud a little it flowed nicely but you might just wanna change some wrods. You'll notice them when you edit it. Good night y'all. Also answer my question.
2. Not bad, and I'm a harsh critic. Try to focus more on the content rather than making things rhyme. Just keep practicing. It's also really hard to judge your thoughts by text. All MC's need a raw beat and a voice with good enunciation at the least, so if you listen to whack music and try to use their beat while you sound like a teenage girl you have already failed. I'm not saying you do, but if you try to get in the hip hop game without the best lyrics and beats, you will get gang-raped by the ghosts of Big Pun, Big L, Biggie, and Tupac. Eminem will also be watching in the corner and that's the worst part.
3. I think it was pretty dope i dont have much to criticize it 8/10