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House hunting and family stress?

My fiance and I are currently living with my parents. We moved in a little under a year ago, and since they graciously let us stay with them rent-free, we've saved up enough money to by a home of our own. This should be a really exciting time for us, but unfortunately, its been the most stressful experience for both of us, especially me. Since we've lived with my parents, my car ended up having so many mechanical problems that it would make more sense buying a brand new car, so I'm having to get rides from everyone. We sleep in a small guest bedroom so everything we need is in that room, or the 2nd bathroom. Its a very small place, but we're so grateful that my parents let us stay there that we don't mind. We contributed and help around the house as much as we can. I cooked dinner at least 4 times a week for everyone, we buy groceries weekly so they don't have to provide all of the food, we clean up after ourselves and our dog, we do the dishes after dinner every night, help out with the bills if they are high, etc. But no matter what we do, it seem like its not enough. Before I walk into the house from work, I brace myself to be chewed out by my mom for something like the dog had an accident, or I left a dish out on the counter last night. I can't relax when I'm home because I'm constantly stressed out about being in my parents way or not helping out enough. We recently had a deal on a house that we decided against because the builder raised the price. My mom tried to negotiate with me that I should take the house but take a few things out ( the things that made us choose that house) so they'll lower the price. When I told her we pretty much decided against it, should got so annoyed she started chewing me out for a completely different subject. Both me and my fiance decided that this house is one we want to raise a family in, so we'll be in the house for a while. We found an area with good school district but doesn't have a lot of housing options except for empty lots. We wanted to see if we could have a house built, but that would take time. When I told my mom about the plan, she had a horrified almost disgusted look on her face. I know that this is a huge financial (and stressful) decision we're making, but I don't think I can take anymore stress from my mom. I can't find peace anywhere in my life, except with my fiance. I'm honestly thinking about just settling for a house that I'm really not thrilled about, instead of building one just so I can have some relief. Moving out into an apartment for less than 6 months just seems like a waist of money, but we're considering that option even if it means dipping into the house fund. What else can I do other than what I'm doing now to cause less stress while living in my parents house? Please help...I need help.

Public Comments

1. If you think that it's going to be a while until you can get the house you want, moving into an apartment for a short time would be the best idea for now. When you guys moved in at the beginning, did they give an expectant date of when they wanted you to be on your own feet and at your own place? It sounds like they kind of want their 'space' back.
2. It's stressful for you living with your parents, but it's stressful for them too, especially your mom. It is your parents house, so cut your mom a little slack. If you want to build a home, then you should rent an apartment until the build is complete. Otherwise, I think you should set a time limit for how long you will continue to live with your parents, whether you find a house in that time frame or not. I understand that you're helping with household chores and some expenses, but you have to realize that when people start to feel too crammed in together, they start to get on each others nerves, and in that situation there's not much you can do to make it less stressful. You may think that renting an apartment is a waste of money, but it's really not. You and your fiance will have your own place to live, your own space, and you can take as much time as you need to either find or build your house. It might take longer than you expect to find a house you like, and even when building there are situations that can cause the build time to take longer than expected. Moving out will take a lot of stress out of your situation, and it sounds like it's time to let your parents have their house back anyway.